I was ready to get frustrated. I wanted it all.
If an event is sent to my Gmail account I want to be able to just click ‘add it’ and see conflicts.
I want to have iCal up to date for offline / nice rich app use.
I want to be able to create events in iCal OR Google Calendar and for everyone to be happy.
I was ready to sigh and just have iCal as a read-only offline view, or to not use Google Calendar, when I stumbled on Spanning Sync which does the hard work to get true two-way syncing. It is still in beta (which is worrying with a tool that can nuke your data) but it is working nicely, and backups are happening frequently.