techno.blog("Dion")

Bruce Schneieir recently talked about British Pub Hours and Crime.

He has some really good points about the seperation of local power compared to central power.

It has always frustrated me that many areas of the US have very early closing hours, and that if you are in that town at closing time, all hell breaks lose. I think I would rather open up the hours so the rabble would spread out!

I enjoy T.V. shows from the US and the UK (among other places). What really blows my mind is how the utter tripe manages to make it across the ocean.

I know that 95% of T.V. is awful, so the odds are that some of it will mistakenly be moved over. Soap Operas in the US and painful, fake, and the long pauses really get me. Soap Operas in the UK are so depressing that you want to kill yourself.

However, there are some shows which really need to be seen all over. A show called Only Fools and Horses is a CLASSIC comedy from the UK. Why not show that instead of Benny Hill, Are you being served, or Monty Python (not that I don’t like Python.. just not every second).

The latest travestry which has me writing all of this, is a show on Comedy Central.

DISTRACTION: A Game Show

It is very bizarre. It comes from the UK, and it even looks like the host is the same.

How is it bizarre? Picture the techniques in which you have to ring the buzzer and get answers:

1. As a contestant you have to pee in a tin. When you STOP the buzzer goes off
2. As a contestant you have your hands tied behind you, and have to charge over to a large naked person who has the answers stuck to their body. You have to get them off with your teeth.

Why are we getting this? Why are we turning into Japan? :)

We don’t talk enough about toilets. At least that is what I heard on NPR a month ago when they reported on the first annual toilet convention. Everyone is trying to catch up with the Japanese. I would love to see their toilets here, and watch people try to work out which buttons to push. Especially funny when they hit the bidet button :)

I was confronted with a question surrounding a toilet myself recently. At a place in England, where a toilet brush normally lies, there was a plastic stick. No brush. I pondered its use, got a little worried for a second, and walked out.

I was watching T.V. later that night, and saw an advertisement for a NEW toilet duck which looked like the object I saw. It turns out that you use it to grab a disposable cleaning glove, use it to clean the bowl, and then flush it down.

Much more hygenic!

I had forgotten about the British christmas card culture. They are a big deal over here. Many people count how many they get.

Many display them everywhere in a Look how many friends I have kinda way.

We still get some christmas cards in the US, from people in the UK. We even managed to get one card in October! Why would we get it so early?

Maybe it could be:

“I don’t know about the post to the US. It may take months so we better get it over there!”

However, in this case, that wasn’t the case. The reason is that if you get your cards out early, then the people that you send them too…. well, they will surely send one back even if they hadn’t planned to send you one!

I had another experience last weekend. I went to a party with a good mate. When we got there, people were exchanging cards (btw, most of the time nothing is written in them other than ‘To Foo, Merry Xmas, From Bar’) and I sat back. Then, some how, someone gave one to me! Only the british would be so curtious as to think “Oh, Marc is bringing Dion over… I better get a card for him too”

Ahh, good ‘ole blighty.

I am really experiencing London this winter season. In my time in europe, I will get to go to four airports in London:

• Heathrow
• Gatwick
• Stanstead
• London City

I fly into City airport this morning. If you need to be in the heart of London, there isn’t a better place to fly into than City airport. It is small too, so your bags beat you to the terminal (like Madison).

Belgium was great, but it is really nice to be back ‘home’ in England.

A solid performance from England. Wales are a good team, and you never knew how it would turn out. England dominated though, and should have had more.

Beckham’s goal was fantastic, but then he did a typical footballer thing.

He went in on a stupid tackle which ended up injuring him a little. I with he was taken off now, but instead he went back on and retaliated. Dood, YOU were the idiot! Now he has another yellow card which knocks him out of the next game. Good job. Worth it.

Rio and Sol at the back. How solid can you get? I can’t wait for Germany 2006! :)

I know a lot of Essex Boys aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed. So it seems to make sense to me that Dubya is actually an Essex Boy. But I was really surprised to hear that Kerry also has heritage in Essex.

In fact, both Bush and Kerry are related. Back in the 1600’s the common ancestor of both candidates hailed from Wickford, Essex, England.

For those who don’t know what the hell I am gabbing about… Essex is a county that borders the Greater London area. These counties are known as home counties, and Essex is where I come from.

Essex boys are known as being likely lads, and Essex girls? Well, think of the blonde jokes, substitute s/blonde/essex/g and you will have the same jokes.

Lovely jubly!

Good job lads.

I didn’t know when I would next see someone beat the Aussies. They are too good.

Well, it is great to see that maybe England really is improving, as their results are showing. Watching Flintoff is like watching Botham in the old days, and it is so fun to watch.

This was a great thing to see as I sit around with no energy, being sick.

I was always told that sex before sport was a bad thing.

It appears that this may not be the cases, and even if it is it doesn’t matter according to a recent article on sex and the olympics:

Let the games begin

If this was an advertised fact, they may be a bunch more olympians!

What a roller-coaster game this is.

- First we go up 1-0 through a great Michael Owen goal
- Then we do the usual, and sit back and the pressure comes on us
- Rooney gets injured and has to go off
- They score to even the game 1-1 in the last 7 minutes
- We end up with extra time
- Then score to go up 2-1, and it looks over
- Lampard sneaks one in to bring it 2-2
- Penalties
- Beckham misses
- They miss
- Sudden death penalties after we are even on 4-4 after 5
- WE LOSE! :(